“Why does it seem easier for some people to make new habits than others? Maybe it’s not so much that it’s easier… they’re just forming a new habit in a way that works best for them. Gretchen Rubin loves studying this sort of stuff, so she and Tsh talk all about habits. Her research led her to this idea that we can each fall in to one of four tendencies – upholders, questioners, obligers, and rebels -and knowing which one you are is monumentally helpful in habit forming. ” -From Tsh Oxenreider’s podcast episode with Gretchen Rubin* on The Simple Show.
Planning ahead, setting goals, and organizing my life has not come naturally to me. It makes me shake my head and smile when I get comments from sharing my “Day in the Homeschool Life” that I’m so organized. Because I used to be the mom writing that same comment to others who I thought had it all together.
The first question in the quote by Tsh seems to be something that is assumed about me. But I want you to know (and my husband can testify) 2 things:
I’m a recovering procrastinator.
And I’m a huge work in progress.
See, I started creating new habits – fighting for them – because I got to the point where I was completely and utterly sick of the way I was operating.
Dirty dishes always in the sink, junk mail always hanging out on the counter, kids’ laundry always lingering days in baskets (this one still needs addressing), and so on.
How do I know that procrastination was my biggest issue?
Because if I knew someone was coming over, or if for whatever reason I had a “deadline” of sorts then I could amaze us all and accomplish all-the-tasks without needing a week to plan it all out.
Being a homeschool mom made this even more apparent to me because the mess, inconsistency, and failure to start spilled over into planning and executing our daily routine and lessons.
Again, the only reason I fought to start changing is because I was fully sick of what I had created as “normal.”
I think that at the root of an inconsistent homeschool is procrastination. Not knowing what or how to start, no deadline from an “outside source,” no concrete rule or method for what order to do things, and the belief that I couldn’t possibly create a routine that would work.
At the root of procrastination is fear of failure. Oh, how the irony is heavy here. I don’t know about you, but I absolutely, 100% passionately do not want to fail my children in how I raise them. I want them to be excellently trained, educated, and nurtured. But procrastination has the power to trick me into delaying everything because of fear to start anything. How sad!
We don’t want to start what we are afraid we won’t be able to do well or to finish at all. At the end of the day, can we agree that doing something in the right direction is better than doing nothing at all?
Right. This question is what helped me brave the beginning of change. It gave me the courage to just start.
I deeply hope you don’t live like I did in constant fear of failure because most of those fears you hear in your own head are lies. You can change. You can create new habits. It does count to try again today. Your efforts do matter.
And small change in the same direction over a long period of time does produce a drastic difference. (Just ask me how I know.)
Ready for real change?
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Over the course of four weeks you’ll learn:
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The course includes a handbook, weekly videos, worksheets and projects – all for just $25!
* Gretchen Rubin well-known for her bestselling book The Happiness Project (which I am currently reading – and loving!).
And her newest book, Better Than Before is now available in paperback.
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