Stuck, because…well…accountability.

Two weeks ago, my whole family was sick. The kind that kept us running to the bathroom every 45 minutes, for 4 days straight. It wasn’t fun, and a lot of my normal routine was completely abandoned.

The week after that my husband and I spent our time preparing for a mini vacation, and the routine still felt a little unnecessary in favor of soaking in extra family time.

So, I pressed a huge pause on my morning make over. I’ve been going through the course again because so much has changed in my life since the first time I went through it that it felt both challenging and grounding to deeply revise my goals.

Before the pause, I had made it through Day 6. I was gently processing through all the information, taking two days to watch the video, read the workbook, and process the homework.

Day 7 came up during the off-routine weeks, and I stalled. But I’m grateful for my determination to do the course well and not quickly. Even though I was taking an unplanned break, I was thinking about what areas of my life needed accountability and why. I was brainstorming who to ask to help me in those areas and how to ask them.

That’s when the fear of accountability came up and I chose to face it.

I don’t want to waste my life avoiding every fear.

The truth is, I fear accountability because I’ve failed at it so many times. I also underplay the importance of it because I’ve succeeded at many goals without it. So I tend to view accountability as either unnecessary or optional. I preach to myself the wrong message that I just need to muster up the strength all from within myself in order to accomplish the next challenge.

So, these past few weeks as I’ve thought through my desires and goals, I’ve realized that there are just certain things that I can’t do (or won’t do) on my own. There are certain areas of personal growth where I have reached a plateau, and I honestly can’t take myself to the next level on my own.

Here’s are my thoughts on accountability:

  1. Having accountability isn’t the same as just talking about my goals with someone.
  2. Being accountable isn’t normal in my circles. Understanding is normal. Relating is normal.
  3. Asking someone to keep me accountable is truly asking a lot of them. It isn’t the same as just asking for a listening ear.
  4. If I truly want to see progress in an area where I want accountability then I’m going to have to burden someone with partnering with me.

And that last point has kept me from sharing my goals with anyone this time around. I want to grow, I want to see change and fruit in my life, but I realize that having an accountability partner means needing someone to be as fervent and committed to the outcomes as I am.

Do you know anyone who has the extra time for that? Because I don’t.

But without a partner, without true accountability (where someone outside myself holds me to the standard), I will forever keep setting goals that I don’t have the stamina on my own to finish.

So, I’m going to do something about this. I want to see this issue become a part of my history and not a part of my future. I know this failure to complete day 7 hasn’t been another proof that I can’t move forward, rather it is a wake up call to a greater solution. One that I’m planning to offer to you.

Looking for more on goals and accountability?
When You Feel Desperate to Change
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My first review of the Make Over Your Mornings (MOYM) course.
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2 thoughts on “Stuck, because…well…accountability.

  1. Well I, for one, can’t wait for the solution! I love your thoughts about accountability vs. listening ear. I’ve not really thought about it that way before, but it rings true for me. For me, it makes me realize the BEST accountability partner actually wouldn’t be my spouse or close friends – they’re my share/dream/talk/listen/encourage/collaborate people! But not necessarily the right person to hold me responsible for meeting my goals, deadlines, etc. Thanks for getting my wheels spinning!

    Like

    • Penelope, your conclusion is exactly the same as mine – I felt like I shouldn’t ask the people who give me the most grace, who know me best, and like you said the dreamers, sharers, listeners, encouragers, and collaborators. But those are the people I would feel least vulnerable to ask. So I feel stuck.

      I’m working on developing a partnership plan that would be purposeful accountability without the emotions. When it’s ready – you’ll for sure be one of the first to know!

      Like

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