December felt like a complete wash for me in the area of personal development, planning, organization, writing, and anything else related to goal setting and accomplishing. The month was a blur of nausea, fatigue, and PBS Kids.
I announced on my personal Facebook page that we are expecting (click here for the video of my kids talking about the baby), and right away put curiosity to rest that this baby is indeed a surprise. Unplanned, but very much wanted. Sometimes I realize a little too late that timing is everything.
I wasn’t planning on being pregnant this year (or ever again because of health issues), but here I am in the middle of figuring out what our new normal will be. I’m trying to set new goals and take more steps in the learning journey, but it’s been hard and the timing of life has been tough.
So, while I should’ve written an end of year post, I should have a tidy list of goals for 2016, I should have a plan for the blog in the New Year ready to share with all of you – I don’t. But I’m choosing not to get hung up on the timing.
Because sometimes, timing isn’t everything.
When I get caught up in the calendar to dictate whether I am living in step, I tend to fall into one of two ditches – over eager task doer that pays no attention to my limitations or the people in my life, or crushed pity party thrower who never seems to be able to keep up the normal pace with everyone else (read: loads of false guilt).
Instead, I’m choosing to focus on grace instead of timing.
Timing is important when Crystal Paine announces that her new course will be half off for one day only.
Grace is gentle when I forgot to purchase said course and wake up to find out that I, in fact, will not be getting in on the course this time around.
Timing assumes that all New Year’s Resolutions will be made by January 1st.
Grace trumps timing when I can’t seem to get my thoughts in order by December 31st. (Grace whispers don’t give up.)
Timing is a good motivator but a bad boss, especially when we need to be to church on time.
Grace celebrates baby steps and progress.
Timing keeps a record of short-comings and late arrivals.
Grace says it’s good to keep trying even after failure and mistakes.
Timing says that I have to buy the next great thing for setting goals or I’ll be left in the dust by all the other successful moms.
Grace remembers that godly stewardship is better than compulsion; saying no and choosing to move slowly is better than speed and productivity for the sake of growing in wisdom.
Even though it’s hard for me to admit that I’ve missed out, failed some goals, and am not as ready for January 2016 as I usually like to be, I’m learning again to embrace the hard stuff because it brings me face-to-face with reality that I’m broken. And on the days when my weaknesses are more abundant than my strengths, when the pregnancy trials threaten to eclipse everything else – I won’t center my thoughts on the timing of life, I will center my thoughts on grace. Grace is greater than all my weaknesses. Grace that saves me from myself and the thoughts that tell me I’ll never be good enough. Grace sees me in light of eternity and not in light of my current afflictions.
Here are the grace-centered things on my plate right now:
Getting back into our lessons and homeschool routine.
Taking care of our new puppy (I know, the timing wasn’t the best for getting a pup).
Painfully slowly still settling in to our home. We moved my desk, and I love it!
Setting up a new chart system for the kids’ responsibilities.
Drinking lots of decaf coffee in my new pour over mug. (My husband knows me so well.)
I’m looking forward to connecting with more of you in the New Year. I hope you are ready to thrive in 2016, and I hope this space will be an encouragement to you in your journey.
Happy New Year! (It’s good to be back.)
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