Am I learning? Growing? Observing? Am I mothering yesterday’s kids or am I seeing things from a present perspective? Can I give my child the freedom to become something different today? Are my mercies new and my affection free?
It’s never too late to start fresh.
To be in awe of the miracle of a life, a whole person wrapped in a little package.
To study them and watch them take in the world. To notice patterns in their responses.
To lovingly prepare for their needs and preferences.
To know them.
I had to relearn my older 2 kids. Or rather start learning them for who they are and not who I wanted them to be. I read once that parents need to confront the child they imagined with the child they have.
Kid-ucation: learning the child in front of me. Setting aside the dreams and frustrations to embrace them for who they are right now. Realizing the sacrifices of motherhood are intended for my good and growth just as much as training them is for theirs.
I was warned before getting married that marriage reveals just how selfish a person is, and then having children reveals whether that person will give up their selfishness or not.
For years, I lived life day-by-day just trying to make it to the pillow each night. I addressed behaviors with a singular mindset. I wanted to train my children to appreciate the world from my point-of-view. Always parenting to that end and hoping to see them flourish suddenly with a mature joy for life.
Enter Dr. Kathy Koch and her teaching from “How Am I Smart?”
Her talk on seeing the 8 different ways that intelligence presents itself gave me the insight I was missing with how to know, train, and teach my children. Before meeting Dr. Kathy I was waiting for my kids to “get it” and after processing this information I realized that I was the one needing to “get them.”
I spent weeks observing my children after this change in perspective, and I concluded that I had been missing the point for years. I had to do a hard reset on my brain to erase all the previous ways I engaged my children. The ways I wanted them to see the world were not only selfish but harmful to their natural intelligences.
We have all grown so much deeper in our bonds as a result. I never would have been a natural safe place for my daughter if I hadn’t been exposed to this information that changed me.
I finally stopped looking for a How-To or a method of parenting.
How much we’ve grown encourages me to stay focused on our being rather than our doing. Sure, we do a lot of things in life, and I’m sure I’ll continue writing about that too, but the primary focus is whether I’m staying teachable.
Kid-ucation. Enrollment is open. It’s never too late to learn.
Affiliate links in this post: How am I Smart?: A Parent’s Guide to Multiple Intelligences, No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are