Why I’m scared to read, and what I’ve just read.


I have to say that I love to read. Since selling our TV over a year ago, and cutting back almost completely on watching movies – our must-see list tops off with Little House on the Prairie and an occasional Pride & Prejudice (which to be honest, I don’t even need to watch because I can quote it) – I have learned to not only enjoy reading but to also look forward to it in great anticipation.

I have to be honest though, books scare me. Sometimes.

Here’s why. I just recently finished reading an “innocent” fiction series which had all the classic elements of a tragic drama, which made it exciting and easy to read. But. I felt weird reading it. Now. I don’t want you to speculate what I read – I’m not going to say unless asked in person – nor do I want to leave out from being said that it was clean – nothing that would make it more than PG. No language or anything else.

Still I sensed that something was off spiritually when I would put it down for the night. Am I crazy? Too sensitive? Or should I take this feeling seriously and correct my reading? I have to conclude that as I journey into living pure, I’m slowly learning to lean most heavily on prayer to navigate such senses and feelings. I don’t think the books I read were “bad” but I do think they were drawing my heart away from communion with the Lord at the moment I read them. Quite possibly, spending my time on these for that season was wrong. I know I’m in an intense season of learning, and the Lord as my teacher was trying to tell me “not now.”

This isn’t the only reason why books scare me though. They also have such power to change and shape my thinking. I have experienced personally the light bulb moment when an author describes something from their own philosophical point of view that I feel persuaded to incorporate into my own beliefs. This is dangerous! I want to be so careful to have an accurate Biblical filter through which all thoughts and ideas from an outside source must flow. I’m not there yet, but I’m aware of it. And that is a start. I want to read to grow, change, learn, be challenged – the whole nine yards – but I don’t want to be a spaghetti noodle swinging on the pendulum with every paradigm shift.

Well, there’s good news at the end of this post. The link (hopefully it will be a picture – WordPress, please be nice to me) at the top of this post is what I have just read and I’m working on a review of it. In a sentence, this book has changed my entire point of reference on how I think about the Jewish people in relation to Christianity.

I hope you will read this review, and then read Betrayed for yourself.

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